Loving with conditions, expectations, agreements and commitments is our human way of loving. There is nothing wrong with conditional love, yet it has a tendency to create suffering as we engage in a tug-of-war with the other. This way of loving is constantly looking outside of ourselves to get us what we need and want. And we get upset with others if they don’t give us what we expect from them.
We don’t even realize that every time we expect something from someone, we give away our power, the power to make us happy, peaceful, content. This is all a necessary part of the human experience, which is the illusion of separation, for we must first experience something before we can heal it. So we experience the drama and trauma of feeling very separate from what we need and want and not being able to get it from others like we would like to.
The good news is: there is a better way of being that is completely natural and quite fulfilling. However, it requires us to be willing to let go of the old way of being. This new way of loving is loving WITHOUT conditions, expectations, agreements and commitments. From the human perspective, that sounds impossible and insane!
It is entirely possible because, even though we can’t see this from our human way of seeing things, we ARE this UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. And all it takes to embody this kind of love is to develop practices of being PRESENT with LOVE and ACCEPTANCE to whatever arises. When we are present, we OPEN to who we are, which is unconditional love itself. We must be willing to face our fears, allow and love the abandoned rejected parts of ourselves.
This process is not particularly difficult. It’s just that it’s so UNFAMILIAR, and because we are so habituated to loving conditionally, it requires lots of willingness, practice, awareness and intention to reprogram ourselves. When we start using EVERYTHING in our experience to show us what in us wants our love and attention, we take back our power, stop the game of tug-of-war and EMBODY the unconditional love that we are. And life becomes amazing and beautiful! This is how we create a new earth.