Losing a child is one of the most profound and heartbreaking experiences a person can endure. The overwhelming waves of grief can consume every part of life, making it difficult to function or see a way forward.
When my son Cory passed away in 2014, I embarked on a journey of healing, guided by his presence and wisdom. Along the way, I discovered six powerful ways to navigate grief, and I hope they provide comfort and support to you.
1. Be Still
In our fast-paced world, staying busy is often seen as a coping mechanism. However, the most crucial step toward healing is embracing stillness.
After Cory passed, I couldn’t fathom how others could return to their normal routines so quickly. My life came to a complete halt, and I had to learn to sit in the silence, allowing myself to simply be.
You might think, But I can’t be still!—but you can. Try it. Stillness calms the nervous system, allowing you to process emotions rather than suppress them.
In the early years of grief, I noticed I was forgetting simple things—even names I should have remembered. At first, it troubled me, but I realized my body needed my energy to focus entirely on healing. When enduring such deep trauma, the mind prioritizes emotional survival over short-term memory. Conserving your energy for healing is why it’s so important to simplify and be more still.
Through that exploration into being, I discovered that stillness speaks an exquisite language. As I embraced it, I began to hear the quiet voice of my inner wisdom guiding me toward peace.
I developed a stillness practice, AKA meditation, which became my lifeline and remains the most transformative practice of my life. I simply set a meditation timer for 10 minutes every day and sat still in a chair.
Over time, as 10 minutes became easy, I gradually added more time to my practice.
In that time of stillness, I learned to allow all of my thoughts and feelings come and go and to observe myself. I had no agenda about trying not to think. I was just naturally allowing my nervous system to unwind, so I could sense my true essence underneath all the loud voices. That presence is Love.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel
Many of us have been conditioned to suppress our emotions, fearing that others may be uncomfortable with our sadness. But resisting grief only prolongs suffering.
When Cory died, I made a conscious decision to fully feel my emotions. I allowed myself to cry—without judgment, without filtering, and without shame. It felt like an internal cleansing, washing away pain with every tear.
Water holds memory. When we cry, we are literally releasing stored grief and emotional toxins. The pain isn’t in the sadness itself, but in our resistance to it.
Give yourself permission to feel everything. It’s like opening a pressure valve, releasing the emotions that have been buried inside.
3. Be Empathetic with Yourself
While sympathy means feeling sorry for someone, empathy is the ability to truly understand and share another’s emotions. Many of us extend empathy to others but struggle to offer it to ourselves.
One of the most powerful tools in my healing journey is audio journaling. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I record myself on my phone’s voice memos. I let everything out—ranting, crying, expressing anger or frustration—completely unfiltered. Then, I listen to it.
This practice allows my Higher Self to listen with compassion, offering my grieving self a space to be heard and understood. It’s like becoming your own therapist, providing validation and healing in real-time.
I encourage you to try it. You might be surprised at how comforting it is to hear your own voice expressing what your heart has been holding and suppressing for so long.
4. Pamper and Ground Yourself
Grieving is exhausting, both emotionally and physically. This is a time to treat yourself with extraordinary care and gentleness.
Make a list of activities that bring you peace and relaxation. For me, art and dance have been deeply restorative. Creating and moving my body helps release stagnant grief and brings moments of joy.
As parents, we often put ourselves last. But self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Prioritize activities that nurture you:
Massage and pedicures – physical touch is deeply healing.
Walking in nature – especially barefoot, to reconnect with the earth.
Napping when needed – grief takes an immense toll on your energy.
Swimming or being near water – allowing its natural cleansing properties to soothe your spirit.
I live in Austin, Texas where we have Barton Springs pool, a unique spring-fed pool on three acres, which were originally old Native American healing grounds. When I get in the water, I tell the water everything and let her take away anything that is no longer serving me.
Remember, your healing journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Take the time to nurture yourself as you navigate this path.
5. Find Ways to Share Your Grief
Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Seek out friends, support groups, or therapists who provide a safe space to express your emotions.
For me, writing became a vital outlet. I openly shared my journey on social media, keeping Cory’s memory alive. At first, people avoided mentioning him, fearing it would upset me. But I wanted to talk about him. Speaking about our loved ones is a way to honor them, not a reminder of loss.
If your family isn’t comfortable discussing grief, redirect your energy to those who are. You were never meant to bear this burden alone.
6. Celebrate Their Life
Your child’s life is worth celebrating. You are worth celebrating. The love you shared is eternal, and honoring that love is a crucial part of healing.
Grief isn’t just about pain—it’s about love that has nowhere to go. Redirect that love into joyful remembrance.
Look through pictures and videos to relive beautiful memories.
Talk to your child in spirit and acknowledge their presence.
Recognize that although their physical body is gone, they still exist in another realm—filled with love and joy.
Celebrate their birthdays and passing anniversaries in meaningful ways.
Every year, I honor Cory by planting trees, publishing books or hosting gatherings. These acts of remembrance keep his spirit alive and allow me to transform grief into something meaningful.
Before long, you’ll start to feel moments of lightness, clarity, and even joy. That’s when you begin to uncover the hidden gifts within grief—deeper love, treasured memories, and newfound purpose.
This is my hope and wish for you, dear friend.
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Join Our Free Support Group for Bereaved Parents
You are not alone. I invite you to join our free support group, where you can connect with other bereaved parents who understand your pain. Together, we can foster healing, share resources, and create a supportive community.
Click HERE to sign up.
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In addition, I’ve developed a comprehensive support document filled with valuable information to assist you as you navigate this healing process. You can access Healing Hearts Support Document HERE.
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Today, ten years after Cory’s passing, I want to offer others what I wished had been available to me. I have developed a one-on-one support offering to assist bereaved parents in their healing journey and to help them connect with their departed child.
If this resonates with you, let’s have a chat to explore whether this is the right fit for you.
Learn more and connect with me HERE.
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