I have had the privilege of raising three children, and it wasn’t easy! In fact, it was one of the most challenging and humbling experiences of my life. What I didn’t realize at the time was my children were working closely with me as mirrors of myself!
When a child acts out and misbehaves, he/she is merely reacting to a fear or judgement. They experience feeling wrong, unimportant, unwanted, ignored, unsafe and so on. That exacerbates their fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, irritation, sadness, jealousy and so forth. What I didn’t realize is they are merely reflecting back to me my own fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, irritation, sadness!
I was taught to CONTROL my children by making them obey me and the rules imposed to keep them safe. I was taught that behavior was bad and good, and that bad behavior would not be tolerated.
What I didn’t know was that all that child wants is to experience nonjudgmental presence, to feel safe and loved unconditionally exactly as they are, to be seen, felt and heard as they are working through their collection of fears in this lifetime. That is what everyone wants.
I now realize that my work here is to reparent myself. My fear, like my children, wants to experience nonjudgmental presence, to feel safe and loved unconditionally exactly as she is, to be seen, felt and heard as I AM working through my collection of fears in this lifetime. I can give all of that to her as the LOVE that we are. It’s a PROCESS, one that requires AWARENESS and INTENTION. I AM essentially reprogramming my old way of parenting myself which was to CONTROL my fears through rigid rules, diets, religions, to judge and punish myself when I transgress the rules.
Instead I choose to hold nonjudgmental presence for my fear as she arises in this moment. I let her know she is SAFE, LOVED beyond measure and that there’s nothing wrong with her. We’re just going through our process of healing and harmonizing our aspect of the collective. This new way of being is graceful, loving and a whole lot easier. No more fighting myself and others. I just keep creating more peace, love and joy by loving and accepting myself in this moment.