Cory’s Hammock: A Journey Through Grief and Love

Acceptance comes in stages, and my journey through grief has been a winding path, filled with unexpected moments of joy and sorrow.

When my son Cory passed away, I found myself thrust into the depths of despair.

Yet, in the midst of this profound trauma, I discovered the gift of acceptance—though it was only the beginning.

One pivotal experience on this journey was centered around Cory’s beloved hammock.

During his last year with us, Cory had invested in a camping hammock, a vibrant piece of fabric that became his sanctuary—a place to relax, unwind, and connect with nature.

I remember vividly the day he called me while lounging in it, suspended beneath a bridge, twenty feet above the shimmering water.

The sound of laughter danced in his voice as he shared his adventurous spirit with me.

But that laughter was abruptly interrupted by the distant blare of a foghorn.

“I’ve got to call you back,” he said, his tone shifting.

Moments later, I learned that the police had spotted him and were warning him about the dangers of his precarious perch.

Later that week, he stumbled upon a sign announcing the prohibition of hammocks along the bridge.

Curious, he approached a nearby officer and inquired about it.

“There was this crazy guy hanging under the bridge last week. We can’t have people doing that. It’s dangerous,” the officer replied, shaking his head.

With a twinkle in his eye, Cory simply smiled and said, “That crazy guy was me!”

Beyond his escapades, Cory cherished that hammock for its comforting embrace while camping in the Greenbelt of Austin.

After he transitioned, I felt an overwhelming urge to reclaim a piece of him.

I hung the hammock in my backyard, eager to feel his spirit enveloping me, a part of my healing process.

As time passed, we built a swing from one of the trees where the hammock rested.

In our enthusiasm, we took down one end of the hammock to make room for the swing, leaving it to languish on the ground for several months.

One day, I decided to rehang it, only to find it riddled with holes, devoured by bugs.

My heart sank; the sight of the once-vibrant fabric now tattered, filled me with disappointment.

Coincidentally, a dear friend visiting from out of town offered to help.

She suggested sewing patches over the holes, using fabric from a polyester bodysuit that Cory had cherished.

As she took the hammock with her, she carried not just the fabric but also stories of Cory, sharing anecdotes with everyone she encountered while meticulously stitching patches.

A few weeks later, a package arrived at my doorstep.

Inside was the beautifully repaired hammock, accompanied by a poignant poem entitled “Patching Holes in a Universe.”

“Patching Holes in a Universe.”

By Jitana Alba

 Where a seemingly quaint little mend project

Illustrates the concepts of worlds

Weave from a single thread

Needle in hand

I’ve spent lifetimes as

a heart surgeon

a deep sea diver

a modest handyman

a conductor of a symphony

Playing the stories of varied

wondrous souls

Manifest as ever morphing

Collections of matter     air     fire

Common conclusions have drawn

Times deciding within a human

set of constructions

Patching the Universe

            impassive     improbable

                        just plain silly

Yet, who would I be to deem the worth

Of any great mysterious task

            present to this awareness

Which may indeed involve

            aspects of this self yet undiscovered

Intricately woven into the wrinkles

Of a time I have yet to know

with a logical linear mind
I dare not constrain

the exquisiteness

Opportunity to play and dance

as Divinity with all things

To hear a perfect picture

            as a partial part

of pure presence

Work is progress

            done and undone

                        in every moment

Invite to imagine

            imagination as iteration

Of innumerable realities

            inclined to inspire fruition

Patching holes in a universe

            energy ignites in passion

                        for pure poetic purpose

                                    in perfect placement

¡Voila!

My heart swelled with gratitude as I visualized the love and effort woven into each patch.

That evening, I headed to a nearby lake, excitement bubbling within me as I prepared to hang the hammock at sunset.

As I wrapped the cord around the tree trunks, anticipation coursed through my veins.

Finally, I plopped down into the hammock—only to hear a resounding “kerplunk!” as I fell straight to the ground!

I hadn’t realized that it wasn’t just the holes that had caused the issue; the entire hammock was dry-rotted!

In that moment of unexpected hilarity, I found solace.

The laughter mingled with my tears, reminding me that acceptance doesn’t mean letting go of the past; it means finding joy in the memories, even when they come wrapped in absurdity.

The hammock may have been beyond repair, but the love it symbolized remained intact.

It became a comical reminder of my journey through grief—a journey that, though painful, had moments of lightness and connection, leading me closer to acceptance of Cory's absence and the beautiful memories we shared.

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 Join Our Free Support Group for Bereaved Parents

You are not alone. I invite you to join our free support group, where you can connect with other bereaved parents who understand your pain. Together, we can foster healing, share resources, and create a supportive community.

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In addition, I’ve developed a comprehensive support document filled with valuable information to assist you as you navigate this healing process. You can access Healing Hearts Support Document HERE.

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Today, ten years after Cory’s passing, I want to offer others what I wished had been available to me. I have developed a one-on-one support offering to assist bereaved parents in their healing journey and to help them connect with their departed child.

If this resonates with you, let’s have a chat to explore whether this is the right fit for you.

Learn more and connect with me HERE.

I am here to serve you with compassion and understanding.

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